There, I Fixed It: Epic Kludges + Jury Rigs

This is such a funny site. It's nothing but pictures and captions. Kludge, Kludge, Kludge.

Honest Graduation Song

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Joke for the day - 07/08/09

Q: Why is Six afraid of Seven ?
A: Because Seven Ate Nine (Seven Eight Nine or 07/08/09)

Dogbert's Brilliant Business Plan!

Best Facebook status yet...

Our friend Kerri is a lawyer and here's her status:

Kerri Smith just got the hiccups at work, excuse me your honor

A joke?

A friend of mine sent this to me the other day...

Yesterday I was at my local Walmart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for our loyal pet Bear the Wonder Dog, and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Walmart won't let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the
world to think of crazy things to say. F

Dancing Dog

There are no words...

Rock the Vote!!!

My candidacy may surprise some of you!

Reminds me of when Amy and I started dating...

To quote my brother-in-law

Terry was describing a person whose leg had been amputated just above the knee. He put his hand just above his knee, to indicate where the amputation had occurred and said "His leg, from here down, wasn't one"

Ryan Perrilloux calls Nick Saban

This is the actual news:Dismissed LSU QB Perrilloux failed drug test - College Football

This conversation might have occurred. If it did, I assume that it happened soon after.

Ryan Perrilloux: Coach Saban?
Nick Saban: Yes?
Ryan Perrilloux: This is Ryan Perrilloux.
Nick Saban: From LSU ?
Ryan Perrilloux: Yes, sir. It seems that I was cut from the LSU Tigers for failing a drug test.
Nick Saban: Ouch! They still do those ?
Ryan Perrilloux: Yep. Anyway, I though that you might have a need for a QB.
Nick Saban: Always. Have you done any jailtime?
Ryan Perrilloux: Not yet. But Coach, I'm willing to do whatever it takes.

A little early...

Yesterday, on our way to Alabama, we saw a woman being given a field sobriety test at 8:45AM.

Rejected Valentines Cards from Shoebox

Important Chart

Another priceless quote from American Idol

Randy Jackson: Hello. What's your name ?
Amy Catherine: I'm Amy Catherine. Amy. Amy Catherine. AC. Whatevs.

Quote from American Idol

To get somewhere, you've gotta give up some stuff sometimes. So, I'm willin' to do it.

Drew Poppelreiter,
Saltillo, MS

Not quite as catchy...

I can't drive five.

New experiences in 2008!

I've done a couple things this year that I haven't experienced before. I tried Muenster cheese and today I had a dog pee on me.

Yep, you read that right...Muenster. Oh, you meant the other thing...

OK, here goes. I'm walking down the hall of our apartment complex to the elevator, because I have stuff to take down to the garbage. I hear a man and his dog walking behind me and so I stop to push the elevator button and the dog runs up in front of me, so I say "Nice dog" and start to pet him and the owner of the dog says "Move your foot!!". It is about three seconds until I realize that the dog has just peed all over my foot (and shoe). Luckily, I was wearing Crocs, so they washed out easily.

Is this how you spell heely?

Bird hunting

I just drove back from Alabama. I sat down on the couch. The neighbors walked by the front windows, so I looked towards the window and saw this image. I was about 15 feet away and I had no idea what it could be. I walked up to it and it looked like it might be a dead bird. I gathered some weapons and other tools (actually a 32 oz cup and a paper grocery sack).

I positioned the grocery bag under the motionless bird and tried to use the cup as a scoop to move the bird into the bag. It was at the point that I realized that the bird was not, in fact, dead. He shot by my head and flew across the room. I took about a minute to evaluate tools that might be more appropriate for capturing a living bird that is in the house.

At this point, I was armed with a 32oz cup, paper grocery sack and am anxiety that I couuldn't shake. I put the bag on the ground and tried to shoo the bird into the bag. That didn't work. What I needed was a new plan.

I then put the bag on the ground and tried to shoo the bird into the bag. It worked !

I assumed that the bird was injured, so I called Amy to see what she thought was the most humane way to handle it. We decided I should release it and when I did it flew through the neighbor's backyard and disappeared.